Meeting Someone New and Interesting
First conversations are almost
always a process where you and the other person feel one another out. Here
are some good things to do on the first instant message chat …
Find Out Location
If you don’t already know their location, try to make sure
you two live in a comfortable proximity. Hitting it off is great …
unless you later find out that the other party lives 4,000 miles away.
Although, distance is a personal thing. I met my wife
online, and she once lived over 3,000 miles away.
Initially, however, we didn’t
chat with a desire to meet up. It seemed unrealistic. But we did get along
amazingly well, and after a few months passed we ventured into the idea
of meeting in person. So you never know.
More often than not, however, I assume that most people would rather meet
someone close by. So be sure you know how far away the person lives.
And if either of you is uncomfortable with telling the other person where you
live, which is normal, just do the best you can in assuring that you’re in
If you don’t
know what one another looks like, try to trade pictures. There’s no sense
getting emotionally attached only to later discover that one (or both) of you
doesn’t have a physical attraction. That’s a good way for feelings to get
hurt, and it’s easy to avoid.
Above All, Be Yourself
Too many people wear masks online. They
find the Internet a great place to be all the things they wish they could be in
real life. This is totally understandable behavior — we all have our fears
and trepidations in our day to day lives. Even still, you don’t want to
get to know a potential relationship partner on false grounds. The truth
will eventually surface, and it can end in needless pain that could easily have
I find that the best route is simply to get to know someone initially — their
likes, dislikes, beliefs, and values. If I click with them, then I try to
move forward. And by being my real self, I can continually move forward on a solid and
Still, it’s commonplace to see people not being their real selves. The guy
who can’t approach women in real life for, instance, saying things like, “Any hot women
looking to get laid?” That’s not what most guys are really
like. Most guys would be petrified to walk up to a woman and say something
like that. And even if a person did
respond to that question, would you really want to meet them? Not
me! If anyone responded to that, I’d be too afraid that they were overly
promiscuous and had a disease (or twenty kids).
Whenever I take a chat room conversation into a one-on-one instant message
conversation, I feel the person out. If it goes well, I move
forward. And if I build a real and strong foundation, sparks can fly.
here to read a real conversation I had and you’ll see it all in action.
You’ll see the one hour feel out process, how well it went, and how that turned
into more adventurous things (in this case, sexual adventure).