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  Instant Message Tips

  Meeting Someone New and Interesting

First conversations are almost always a process where you and the other person feel one another out.  Here are some good things to do on the first instant message chat …

  Find Out Location

If you don’t already know their location, try to make sure you two live in a comfortable proximity.  Hitting it off is great … unless you later find out that the other party lives 4,000 miles away.  Although, distance is a personal thing.  I met my wife online, and she once lived over 3,000 miles away.

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Initially, however, we didn’t chat with a desire to meet up.  It seemed unrealistic.  But we did get along amazingly well, and after a few months passed we ventured into the idea of meeting in person.  So you never know.

More often than not, however, I assume that most people would rather meet someone close by.  So be sure you know how far away the person lives.  And if either of you is uncomfortable with telling the other person where you live, which is normal, just do the best you can in assuring that you’re in comfortable proximity.

  Exchange Pictures

If you don’t know what one another looks like, try to trade pictures.  There’s no sense getting emotionally attached only to later discover that one (or both) of you doesn’t have a physical attraction.  That’s a good way for feelings to get hurt, and it’s easy to avoid.

  Above All, Be Yourself

Too many people wear masks online.  They find the Internet a great place to be all the things they wish they could be in real life.  This is totally understandable behavior — we all have our fears and trepidations in our day to day lives.  Even still, you don’t want to get to know a potential relationship partner on false grounds.  The truth will eventually surface, and it can end in needless pain that could easily have been avoided.

I find that the best route is simply to get to know someone initially — their likes, dislikes, beliefs, and values.  If I click with them, then I try to move forward.  And by being my real self, I can continually move forward on a solid and real foundation.

Still, it’s commonplace to see people not being their real selves.  The guy who can’t approach women in real life for, instance, saying things like, “Any hot women looking to get laid?”  That’s not what most guys are really like.  Most guys would be petrified to walk up to a woman and say something like that.  And even if a person did respond to that question, would you really want to meet them?  Not me!  If anyone responded to that, I’d be too afraid that they were overly promiscuous and had a disease (or twenty kids).

Whenever I take a chat room conversation into a one-on-one instant message conversation, I feel the person out.  If it goes well, I move forward.  And if I build a real and strong foundation, sparks can fly.  Click here to read a real conversation I had and you’ll see it all in action.  You’ll see the one hour feel out process, how well it went, and how that turned into more adventurous things (in this case, sexual advent


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