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  Romance Chat Tips

  How to Conduct Yourself

Chat rooms can be an excellent place to find romance.  They can also be a complete waste of time.  A lot depends on how you act in there.

In chat rooms, I commonly see people who are insulting and juvenile.  I don’t know what the story is, but I assume these are highly insecure people in real life who use chat rooms to impose their “greatness” on others.  Whatever the case, this behavior has one result: it makes these people look childish and people want to avoid them.  This behavior is definitely not a good way to find romance.

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My other chat room favorite is “the regular.”  This is the person who is constantly in a particular chat room, and feels the need to make sure everyone knows this — especially new visitors.  Nobody cares.  Not one iota.  I mean, think about it.  Who’s going to be impressed by a person that spends every second of their free time in a chat room?  After all, it’s nothing more than a make believe online world if its the only place you exist or feel comfortable in.

The point I am trying to make is this: trying too hard to impress people almost always has the opposite affect.  Rather than impress anyone, you look like someone who is incredibly desperate for attention and desperate to be liked.

Conversely, there are two kinds of people in chat rooms that are almost always the most impressive: nice people and funny people.  Think about it … when you’re in a chat room, do you prefer to talk to the grating, pushy people, or do you feel more drawn to the people who are nice and/or funny?

For me, the nice people always shine — they’re the ones I love to talk to.  But I also like people with wit and humor.  Especially when they are funny without insulting other people in the chat room.  I mean, who isn’t drawn to kindness and laughter?  If you’re looking to find romance, these are two excellent qualities to present.

So if you want to make a good impression in a romance chat room — or anywhere for that matter — kindness and a sense of humor always have great appeal.  If you want to turn people off in a chat room, that’s easy too: simply try too hard to impress them or act like an ass.

  Dealing with an Imbecile

No matter how nice you try to be, every so often a moron will try to antagonize you.  What do you when a loud mouth starts antagonizing you in a chat room and they won’t let up?  The most dignified thing you can do is ignore them.  One, it pisses them off.  Two, it makes them look childish and makes you look mature.

If, however, you want to throw a show-stopping dig back at them — something which they won’t likely have a good comeback to — I’ll give you two.

When someone in a chat room is really nagging me, I like to say the following: “Look, Name3456, I’d love to sit here and have childish debates with you, but I can’t right now.  Give me ten minutes … when I’m done shaving your mom’s back, I’ll be happy to pick up where we left off.”

Or … “Name1234, can you hold on a second.  I’m [email protected]  When I’m done, I’ll be happy to engage you in your 2 year old outbursts.”

Are these two statements nice?  No.  Are they mature?  Not remotely.  But if someone is pestering the hell out of you, they will have a hard time coming up with a better statement than these two.  And whatever they say thereafter will look weak compared to one of these two statements.  At least that’s been my experience.  Overall, you’re still better off if you simply ignore them.

  Finding Someone You’re Interested In

When you find someone in a chat room that you like, the next step is common sense: you want to talk to them alone.

Most chat services offer you the option to open a private chat with someone.  If this option isn’t available, you simply want to instant message with the person.  This can easily be done with AOL Instant Messanger, Yahoo Messanger, or MSN Messanger.  Almost every person on the net will have one of these three programs.  Use one of them to talk to them privately.  For tips on having an instant message chat, please click here.

Most chat room and instant message conversations won’t go anywhere romantically, but some can lead to romance.  I’ve personally had great success using kindness and humor.  

Aside from humor and kindness, the only other suggestion I can make is to be yourself.  As Leo Buscaglia said, “You are the best you.  You will always be the second best anyone else.”

  Romance Chat Room Safety

One last item we should cover is safety.  Be wary of trading pictures with people until you know them.  If you don’t have antivirus software, don’t open files — including pictures — from anyone you don’t know.  If you do have antivirus software, make sure it scans email attachments.  Then, and only then, should you event hink about looking at a picture someone sends you.


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