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home  ::  sex and dating tips newsletter  ::  march 2003

MAR 2003

Sex and Dating Tips Newsletter
Proven Sexual Techniques and Dating Advice 

by John Francis

In This Issue …

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This Month’s Online Dating Tip
Tip of the Month  How to Write a Great Personal Ad

A successful online personal ad has two components: the headline and the actual ad.  The headline is the little title that is usually placed next to your picture and above a tiny description of your profile.

The fact that your headline is the only real part of your ad that a person sees when they browse personal ads makes it far more important than the actual ad itself.  Because if your headline doesn’t lure a person to read your personal ad, the ad is basically rendered useless.

The Headline

Your online personal is like an advertisement.  And in this advertisement, you are the product.  If your personal ad doesn’t sell a reader, he or she will breeze by it looking for something better.

The key to creating a successful personal ad is your headline.  It has to get a person’s attention, it has to do it in few words, and it has to do amidst a lot of other headlines.  This is a lot to ask of a description that’s usually less than ten words.

How do you do it?  The key is to appeal to the other person’s interest.  Fact is, the person reading your headline doesn’t know you and can care less about you.  They want to know what’s in it for them.  So your personal ad’s headline — in very few words — has to show this person what’s in it for them.  This is what gets the reader to decide to open your personal ad or to pass it by.

The trick is to play to the wants that are important to your target reader.  In general, women seek honesty, security, sense of humor, confidence, someone who will make them feel sexy and special, physical attraction, and someone who will listen (when dealing with women, men can be pretty bad at this, so pick it up guys).  So if you’re looking to appeal to a woman, example headlines might be:

  • Get the love and attention you deserve
  • A man who will actually listen to you!
  • Secure man (or woman) with a sense of humor

Appealing to men works the same way: your personal ad’s headline should appeal to what a male prospect wants to find.  Surveys on attraction typically show that “physical appearance” is more important to men than women.  But men seek other things as well.  About one in two men polled are looking for a serious relationship.  This means you have a 50-50 chance whether you mention serious relationship or casual relationship.

In essence, when you design your personal ad’s headline, think of what the target prospect will want and promote it.  And try to avoid some of the highly-common horrible personal ad headlines, which go like:

  • A friend made me do this
  • Tired of being miserable
  • Life sucks, look forward to hearing from ya

Don’t promote negativity, it’s not too appealing.  That statement is common sense, of course, but there are negative headlines like these all over the personals.  And the “friend made me do it” approach is lousy also.  If we’re serious about meeting someone, would we want to waste our time and energy on a person who doesn’t seem serious about it?

If you have to use negativity, try to at least throw in some humor.  I saw a personal ad headline which did this fabulously.  It read: If the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.  This has to make you laugh.  And it has to make you think that this person has a creative sense of humor.  Nonetheless, I still succeed far more frequently when my personal ad uses a headline that focuses on what the reader stands to gain.

When The Headline Is Slightly Less Important

There will be some dating services that display search results with your headline and a small version of your picture.  In this case, the headline’s value is a bit less important because your picture will also play a role in whether or not someone finds you appealing.

You can click here to open my personal ad picture tips.  It will open on a separate page and will help you produce the best picture you can.  Even if a search result displays a picture, you still want to create the best headline you possibly can.  Remember, your personal ad is meaningless if your headline does not get someone to read it.

Your Actual Personal Ad

Your headline got them in the door, your personal ad now has to generate a response.  How do you do this?  Once again, it comes back to telling the reader what’s in it for them.  What are your favorable qualities?  What does the reader stand to gain by getting to know you … by meeting you … by dating you?

If the reader doesn’t see the benefit of knowing you, why would they waste time writing you or contacting you?

Let them know what they stand to gain.  Don’t be shy.  Don’t under-value yourself.  We all have majestic and wonderful qualities.  Let people know about yours.  Tell them what they stand to gain by having an awesome person like you in their life.

I usually make a list of my best qualities.  Then, I prioritize them in order of what I think the reader will likely find most valuable.  Then, I put them in the ad: “I am a great listener and I look forward to conversing with you and hearing your thoughts … I am adventurous and open-minded, and seeking someone whose thoughts and actions will broaden my views … and so on.”

I just told the reader that I will listen, that communication is important to me, and that I welcome and look forward to their feedback.  I also did so while stating what I’m looking for.

In too many ads, the person is totally caught up in what they want: “I want someone who is between 5’11” and 6′ tall, 187.2 pounds, and makes AT LEAST $900,000 a year.”  Most people read ads like that and think, Who cares?  Of course, that example is overboard, but a good percentage of ads are like that.  Avoid that route.  Tell people what you’re looking for.  But also let them know what they stand to gain.  I write my ads this way and I have had immense success.

Proven Ways for Men to Attract Women  Proven Ways for Men to Attract Women

For those of you who have read my articles and newsletters, and are interested in looking into my books, here’s how:

Sex Secrets For Men — Discover how to make women orgasm with ease, how to maintain an erection for hours, the keys to getting women to pose nude, how to have sex with two women at once, how to read a woman’s sexual signals, and a whole lot more.

Dating Made Easy For Men — You’ll learn how to overcome shyness, the best places to meet women, a proven pickup line, how to easily start and maintain conversations, how to read women’s signals, and much more.

How To Attract Women Online — The keys to finding romance at online dating sites and chat rooms, including in-depth instructions for writing winning personal ads, how to effectively respond to ads, what to do in chat rooms, and a great deal more.

The Master Dating Course — This is simply all three of my books, wrapped into one, and priced at a huge discount.  If you want to master every angle of attracting women and being great in bed, this is the book for you.


“I have received other manuals and none of them were as well written as yours!  I am impressed.  It is easy to read and understand.  Your “secret pick-up-line” works!  The literature also goes into detail about confidence and goals.  I have read many other dating books/manuals and this is the best!  This is the first one that made me believe I can do it!  Thanks again John and good luck!”
Aarin E. – Utah

Read more testimonials from readers of my books

Online Dating Site of the Month
Online Dating Service Review 
IWantU Dating – Dating, Adult, and ALT Dating

Our dating site of the month
is IWantU Dating.  It’s a really awesome site, and there are three things that we really love about it.

Number one, of all the major online dating services it is one of the quickest and easiest sites to navigate.  Secondly, they have really cool video games.  How many dating services let you play poker, blackjack, or Tetris?  Good stuff.  Thirdly, and this is the coolest feature, they give you three dating services wrapped in one.  More on that …

When you join IWantU Dating, which is free to join, you have the option to post a profile in all three of their services: dating, adult, and alternative.  You can post a different profile and/or picture in each of the three services, or join the one or two you like best.  There’s truly nothing else like it.

And the three dating service option is only the beginning, IWantU Dating is one of the best all around dating services you can find.  Here’s what they offer:

  • Excellent Matching

    They have great matching software that will match you up with other members.  Your matches are based on your profile and preferences, and are automatically sent to you with no effort on your part.  You don’t even need to be logged in to meet people.  All you have to do is look them over and decide who you like.
  • Instant Contact

    IWantU Dating makes it easy to instantly connect with people.  They have really nice chat rooms, instant messaging, and also private messaging from an anonymous message box.
  • Excellent Search Options, Including Photo Gallery

    You have your usual standard search features that let you browse profiles based on your personal preferences.  In addition, you also can search and browse photo’s using their photo gallery search feature.  And in IWantU Adult Dating and IWantU Alternative Dating, nude pictures and explicit content are allowed, which makes the photo gallery that much more fun.

This is hands-down one of the best and most unique dating services on the Internet.  Click on one of the links below to register for free:

IWantU Dating – If you are looking for love or friendship, then the Dating club is the place for you.  No explicit language or pictures are permitted.

IWantU Adult Dating – Do you want some hot and erotic fun?  Here, you can have erotic encounters at your own discretion.  Go and live out your wildest fantasies.  Explicit language and nude pictures are permitted.

IWantU Alternative Dating – Even more wild than their adult service.  As they say on their site, “sticks and stones break your bones, but whips and chains excite you?”  Explicit language, kinky fetishes, and nude pictures are obviously permitted.

And remember, once you get there, you have the option to join any or all of their dating services.

IWantU Dating Service Features

  IWantU Dating
Free to Join yes
Post Free Personal yes
Browse Ads Free yes
Instant Messaging yes
Chat Rooms yes
Post Multiple Pics yes
Nude Personals adult and alt sites

IWantU Dating Service Ratings

  IWantU Dating
Site Speed 4
Ease of Use 5
Quality of Pictures 5
Personal Ad Quality 4
Member Size 4
Search Features 5
Total Score 27 of 30


Send Us Your Feedback and Suggestions  Feedback and Suggestions 

This newsletter is here to serve and benefit you, the reader.  So do not hesitate to tell us how we can improve things.  In addition, you are encouraged to suggest article ideas and to let us know what you think of the newsletter.  Simply email us at the below address:

[email protected]

That’s it for this issue.  Thanks for reading Sex and Dating Tips!


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