home  |  top online dating services  |  sex and dating advice  |  online dating tips  |  free sex and dating tips newsletter

The Leading Authority on Online Dating

online dating service reviews  |  sex and dating books  |  link exchange  |  articles  site map  |  contact us  |  about us



home  ::  sex and dating tips newsletter  ::  april 2003

APR 2003

Sex and Dating Tips Newsletter
Proven Sexual Techniques and Dating Advice 

by John Francis

In This Issue …

View Newsletter Archives

This Month’s Sex Tip
Tip of the Month  Controlling The Male Orgasm

The wonderful world of the penis.  And what a fascinating little topic it is.  Just look at all the commonly talked about topics: premature ejaculation … does size matter … how does a guy stay erect … can creams really make you longer (wouldn’t your hands get bigger, too?!).  Today, we are going to cover one of these topics: the male orgasm.  We’ll start by discussing …

Fantasy And Reality

Most men have amazing imaginations when it comes to how long we hold out until we climax.  In a survey done by the University of Chicago, 69 percent of men said they lasted between 15 minutes and an hour, while another 20 percent said they lasted over an hour.  In other words, nine in ten males (89 percent) think they last 15 minutes or greater, and one in five think they go better than an hour.

Not even close.

Almost all research done in this area concludes that most men orgasm in a couple of minutes.  In an eleven year study done by Masters and Johnson, they tested thousands of men and found that most men lasted two to three minutes.  These figures, of course, are nowhere near the 15 minutes to an hour the 69 percent of men claimed, and are light years from the hour plus the other 20 percent stated in the University of Chicago survey.

Our inability (perhaps refusal) to see this realistically may explain why so many women feel unfulfilled in bed.  Because the first step to improving this situation is to realistically recognize that it needs to be fixed.  And this is something men need to recognize, because the ten percent of heterosexual adult women that have never orgasmed with a man are already keenly aware of the problem.

So step one, much like any other problem, is admitting that all ain’t well.  If your performance is off and you’re not willing to even admit it — or if you are too selfish to even try to please a woman in bed — this article will only waste your time.  If your performance is off and you want to do something to improve it, let’s get down to business.

Understanding The Male Orgasm

I wanted to become incredible in bed and during the early 1990s I was reading all sorts of stuff on sex.  I studied anything … from science-based literature, like the work of Dr. Graffenburg on the G-spot, to stuff that seemed beyond ridiculous.  My attitude was try everything and see what worked.

One day, I came upon an article discussing the factual scientific process of the male orgasm.  I was shocked to learn that, for men, orgasm and ejaculation are not one and the same thing.  Yes, they do usually happen simultaneously.  But, they don’t have to.

Being a big fan of masturbation, I decided to experiment with this new information to see if it was really true.  Of course, I did this all in the name of science and for the betterment of humanity.  Lo and behold, it worked!

After a lot of practice, I was finally able to orgasm without ejaculating.  Woo hoo!  What did this mean from a practical standpoint?  It’s kind of like a canon in that I could put out the fuse and re-light it without launching the canon ball until I was ready.  In short, I could maintain an erection, for a damn long time, until I chose to ejaculate.

I remember very well that the woman I was dating at that time was very pleased about this.  Maybe a little too pleased, which kind of made me wonder how well I was really doing in bed before I made this little discovery.

In any case, it was a cool discovery.  One that has made a HUGE impact on my sex life.  I went from putting in an effort to last 15 minutes to being able to stay erect for as long as I wanted to (if you master this technique, you can hold out for a few hours, usually till you get sore or bored).

This is not to say that I last forever every time.  That’s not the case.  I usually find that 20 to 90 minutes on average is fine.  For me, doing too much of anything, no matter how fun it is, can get repetitive and played out.  But it’s great knowing that I can call on this skill whenever I please.  Okay, so how has it affected my sex life?

For one thing, I learned that it’s easy for most women to orgasm during intercourse.  The main problem I used to have was that I gave out before they got off.  But if there’s intense connection or immense attraction there, and as long as you last long enough, most women will orgasm during intercourse.  In some cases, very easily and sometimes over and over.  This was good.

Here’s what, at times, wasn’t so good … if you become really good in bed you can have a hard time getting rid of women.  Actually, this is true for men and women.  If you can really please someone in bed, they will generally want to have you around.  Sometimes, even when they can’t stand you as a person or when you have zero in common with them.  Point is, things were getting good in bed.  Women who didn’t much like me wouldn’t leave me all that easily.  Women who did like me now really liked me.

My overall sex skills were soaring and so was my confidence — both in and out of bed.  I got more bold sexually and more bold in everyday life.  Things were good and have only gotten better and better since.  But enough about me, you want to know how you can master this ability to stay erect for as long as you feel like it.  The answer is simple …

Practice, Practice, Practice

In my book, Sex Secrets For Men, I get into this in detail.  I’m not going to do that here.  I’ll give you the right map to follow, but I am not going to give you the same information that I give to people that pay for my books.  Plus, I think my knowledge is worth something.

I spent 23 months writing my three books, am including my personal sexual experiences with 91 different women, not to mention all the research I did.  If Bill Gates can make a PC platform that crashes all the time and gets 40 billion dollars for it, I think my efforts are worth the $20 I charge for my sex book.

But like I said, I will tell you exactly how to figure this out.  And it’s a fun process, so you won’t hate learning as you go.  The solution is real simple: masturbate.

Remember, ejaculation and orgasm are not one and the same.  Yes, they usually happen at the same time for men, but they don’t have to.  Masturbate and practice separating one from the other.  It’s really pretty easy.

We can all tell when we’re ready to ejaculate, usually we get the signals about 15 to 60 seconds beforehand.  Once you get these signals … STOP and do not let yourself ejaculate.

If you stop and wait wait 20 or more seconds — this can be different for each guy — you should still be erect and you will re-set the pipes.  It’s like emptying water out of a hose: the hose stays hard, but it needs to be re-filled with water.

By practicing this, you will soon be able to control when you ejaculate.  In many instances, you will still experience the orgasm and all the sensations associated to it.  But without the actual ejaculation you will still be hard.  It’s a beautiful thing.  And when you finally do decide to let yourself ejaculate, what an orgasm!

If, for whatever reason, you are not into masturbation ( surveys say that 10 out of 10 men are into it), then I honestly don’t know what to tell you.  Try one of the many drugs or pumps on the market that don’t work.  Maybe try praying.  But if you’re willing to try this, and it’s simple and fun, you will master it in no time.  Some of you, who are really busy with yourselves, will get it in a day or two.  Best of luck!

Proven Ways for Men to Attract Women  Proven Ways for Men to Attract Women

For those of you who have read my articles and newsletters, and are interested in looking into my books, here’s how:

Sex Secrets For Men — Discover how to make women orgasm with ease, how to maintain an erection for hours, the keys to getting women to pose nude, how to have sex with two women at once, how to read a woman’s sexual signals, and a whole lot more.

Dating Made Easy For Men — You’ll learn how to overcome shyness, the best places to meet women, a proven pickup line, how to easily start and maintain conversations, how to read women’s signals, and much more.

How To Attract Women Online — The keys to finding romance at online dating sites and chat rooms, including in-depth instructions for writing winning personal ads, how to effectively respond to ads, what to do in chat rooms, and a great deal more.

The Master Dating Course — This is simply all three of my books, wrapped into one, and priced at a huge discount.  If you want to master every angle of attracting women and being great in bed, this is the book for you.


“I have received other manuals and none of them were as well written as yours!  I am impressed.  It is easy to read and understand.  Your “secret pick-up-line” works!  The literature also goes into detail about confidence and goals.  I have read many other dating books/manuals and this is the best!  This is the first one that made me believe I can do it!  Thanks again John and good luck!”
Aarin E. – Utah

Read more testimonials from readers of my books

Online Dating Site of the Month
Send Us Your Feedback and Suggestions  Adult Friend Finder

Adult Friend Finder is like most other online dating sites, but more sexually adventurous.  You’ll see nude pictures in personals, nude video chat, and the personals are far more sexually descriptive.  That said, Adult Friend Finder a great site for finding someone with your sexual likes, whether it’s for a relationship or fling.

With over 5 million members and over 15,000 members joining each day, Adult Friend Finder is easily the largest adult dating service on the Internet.  And with more adult personals to browse than any other adult dating service, you have far greater chances to find what you’re looking for.  The nude personals and nude video chat are a pretty nice perk, too.

Adult Friend Finder also offers anonymous email, a hot list to save and find your favorite people, and advanced matching to help you find what you really want and to help others who have sexual tastes similar to yours.  In fact, here are a few of the items you can search for:

  • women seeking couples
  • women seeking lesbian couples
  • women seeking men
  • women seeking women
  • men seeking couples
  • men seeking lesbian couples
  • men seeking men
  • men seeking women
  • and so on

You can search for erotic adult chat, discreet relationships, one-on-one sex, group sex, bondage and discipline, cross dressing, kinky fetishes, exhibition and voyeurism, and so on.  As you can see, Adult Friend Finder covers the whole spectrum of adult dating and sexual fantasies.  And with millions of personals to browse, you can be sure to find whatever you’re looking for.

All in all, Adult Friend Finder is the Internet’s largest and best adult dating service with great features and over 5 million members.

What we recommend …

The best thing to do is to set up your free account.  Then, login and browse the “New Member Gallery.”  You’ll see just how huge this site is, and you’ll also get a great feel for the people you can meet.

Adult Friend Finder Features

  Adult Friend Finder
Free to Join yes
Post Personal Ad Free yes
Browse Personals Free yes
Nude Personals Available yes
Nude Video Chat yes
Instant Messaging yes
Chat Rooms yes
Post Multiple Pictures yes

Adult Friend Finder Ratings

  Adult Friend Finder
Site Speed 4
Ease of Use 5
Quality of Pictures 4
Quality of Personal Ads 4
Member Size 5
Search Features 5
Total Score 27 of 30

Send Us Your Feedback and Suggestions  Feedback and Suggestions 

This newsletter is here to serve and benefit you, the reader.  So do not hesitate to tell us how we can improve things.  In addition, you are encouraged to suggest article ideas and to let us know what you think of the newsletter.  Simply email us at the below address:

[email protected]

That’s it for this issue.  Thanks for reading Sex and Dating Tips!


© Copyright 2002 – 2004  Premier Personals  |  Privacy Policy  |  Contact Us  |  Links 1  |  Links 2
Also Visit: Personals Guide