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home  ::  sex and dating tips newsletter  ::  mar-apr 2004

MAR 2004 APR

Sex and Dating Tips Newsletter
Proven Sexual Techniques and Dating Advice 

by John Francis

In This Issue …

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Quick Explanation
Tip of the Month  Missing the Last Newsletter

I want to apologize for not writing the last newsletter, the January/February 2004 issue.  My father died at the end of 2003 and I simply needed a break to come to come to terms with losing my dad, grandmother, and younger brother in a three year span.  (I also needed to convince my wife that my family isn’t cursed.)  I’m back, so let’s get on with this month’s newsletter …

This Month’s Dating Tip
Tip of the Month  Dating Over Age 40

Dating over age 40 is pretty broad topic, so we are only going to cover a few of the more common and most important points.  These days, one of the more common themes of over 40 dating is dealing with divorce.

Divorce and Identity

If you’ve experienced a divorce over the age of 40, you know the powerful effect it can have on your life.  The divorce hits and everything is turned upside down.

For many years, sometimes many decades, things were a particular way and you knew exactly who you were.  You might have been mom or dad, husband or wife.  Your former partner may have been your closest friend at one point.  Bottom line is, day after day you basically knew what to expect.  But with the divorce, you had that comfort zone ripped away from you.

Of course you’re still mom or dad, a divorce can’t change that.  However, this role does slightly change when mom and dad are dueling it out in court for custody or when the kids are shifting back and forth visiting one parent then the other.  The kids get a slightly different view of mom and dad, not to mention dealing with seeing their parents no longer together.  Parents and children feel this new tension.  And even if it’s only mild, it’s there and it affects things.

On top of this, you’re alone.  You may be better off.  But it’s still new, and you still have to redefine your identity — without your spouse and without the very familiar life you had for so many years.  That’s perhaps the downside.  But I tend to think the upside is usually pretty awesome, also.

Two Women

I dated two women in their 40s who were both, at the time, recently divorced.  Both women were going through an identity crisis.  I’m not suggesting that they didn’t truly know who they were, that wasn’t the case at all.  Compared to a 25 year old, these women were sharper, more worldly, and had a much better sense of life.  Despite this fact, there was still a loss of identity that took place during and after the divorce.

Prior to getting divorced, these women had lived a certain way of life for a very long time.  One was married for 26 years and had two kids, the other was married for 21 years and had a daughter.  The second woman added the burden of feeling like her divorce made her fail her Christian faith.

Overall, both women felt that they were better off divorced, but both were also pretty unhappy and feeling a bit lost.  Their feelings are very understandable.  However, as I said, there is an awesome upside to consider.

A New Life Over 40

Whether you’re 40, 50, 60, or older, life is still going (if you’re still breathing, it’s still going).  And being single is as good or bad as you make it.  Feel free to have an identity crisis.  Feel free to be depressed.  And feel free to feel a sense of loss.  All of these feelings are perfectly normal.

At the same time, don’t overlook the wonderful new opportunity you have before you.

Most people typically get married for the first time while they are in their 20s.  Statistically speaking, at some point half of these people will end up divorced.  So who’s better off, the 50 percent who stay married or the 50 percent who end up divorced?  It’s an impossible question to answer, but there are some definite advantages to dating when you’re older.  Here are three of the huge advantages of dating over 40:

  • You’re Far Better Equipped

    Fact is, most of us are not too sharp in our 20s.  We think we are at the time, but when we hit our 30s, we tend to realize just how little we really knew.  So if you’re over 40 and looking to date, you have a huge advantage.  You know who you are, you know what you want out of life, and your values are well-defined.  In short, you are far better equipped to find a great match when you’re over 40 than when you were in your 20s.

  • You’re More Likely to Find a Great Match

    Because of what I do for a living, I can say this for a fact.  For a living, I write books and articles on dating, relationships, and sex.  And I study my field constantly.  Everything I’ve seen and everything I’ve read indicates that people who meet someone when they are over 40 are much more likely to do it for better reasons than they did when they were 20.  Doesn’t this make sense?  You’re not an impulsive 20 year old.  You think things through a lot better.  And as I said, you now know who you are, what you want out of life, and you have your values well-defined.  Isn’t this a much better place to be when looking to meet someone?  Enjoy the fact that you’re older and wiser, and far more capable of finding someone that is a great match.

  • You’re More in Demand than You Might Think

    Whether you’re a man or woman, being “older” doesn’t mean you’re no longer attractive or no longer sought after.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  Those two 40-plus year old women I dated were both older than me — 19 years and 13 years respectively.  Did I mind the age gap?  Not at all.  These two ladies had a sexiness that a 20 year old rarely possesses.  They were more sure of themselves, far more mature, much more interesting to talk to and be around, and they had genuine life experience to share with me.  To me, this was extremely attractive.  And I’m not alone.  If you go into any large online dating service, you’ll find slews of people who have no problem dating people who are much older or much younger.  In fact, our newsletter dating site review this issue focuses on Yahoo Personals, which has one of the most diverse age groupings of any online dating service.  Click here to read the review – or – click here to visit Yahoo Personals.

To give you an idea, the term “older woman younger man” gets 11,000 searches a month in the search engines.  If you’re 40 years old, whether you want to date someone who’s 25 or 55, it doesn’t matter.  You can do either.  It’s your world, define it as you see fit.  Go for it and have fun!

Proven Ways for Men to Attract Women  Proven Ways for Men to Attract Women

For those of you who have read my articles and newsletters, and are interested in looking into my books, here’s how:

Sex Secrets For Men — Discover how to make women orgasm with ease, how to maintain an erection for hours, the keys to getting women to pose nude, how to have sex with two women at once, how to read a woman’s sexual signals, and a whole lot more.

Dating Made Easy For Men — You’ll learn how to overcome shyness, the best places to meet women, a proven pickup line, how to easily start and maintain conversations, how to read women’s signals, and much more.

How To Attract Women Online — The keys to finding romance at online dating sites and chat rooms, including in-depth instructions for writing winning personal ads, how to effectively respond to ads, what to do in chat rooms, and a great deal more.

The Master Dating Course — This is simply all three of my books, wrapped into one, and priced at a huge discount.  If you want to master every angle of attracting women and being great in bed, this is the book for you.
“I have received other manuals and none of them were as well written as yours!  I am impressed.  It is easy to read and understand.  Your “secret pick-up-line” works!  The literature also goes into detail about confidence and goals.  I have read many other dating books/manuals and this is the best!  This is the first one that made me believe I can do it!  Thanks again John and good luck!”
Aarin E. – Utah

Read more testimonials from readers of my books

Online Dating Site of the Month
Send Us Your Feedback and Suggestions  Yahoo Personals

Yahoo Personals is one of the Internet’s best and easiest to use dating services.  If you’re familiar with Yahoo — the search engine, Yahoo e-mail, or any of the other Yahoo features — you’ll find it that much easier.  And with one of the fastest growing member bases in online dating, you will also have an easy time meeting great people.  In addition, it’s free to join.

Since this issue of our newsletter covered dating over 40, it’s also important to mention that Yahoo Personals just acquired Third Age Connections.  Third Age Connections was an online dating service that focused on dating over 40.  With Yahoo Personals already being one of the web’s biggest dating services, the addition of Third Age Connections makes it the absolute best place for over 40 singles to meet.

Here’s a look at what Yahoo Personals offers:
  • Simplicity.  Of all the top dating sites we have reviewed, Yahoo Personals is one of the easiest to use.  If you are looking for an excellent site that is easy to navigate and simple to use, you will really enjoy Yahoo Personals.
  • Results!  The Yahoo network has the unique distinction of being the most used web sites on the entire Internet.  Yahoo Personals is no exception.  It is one of the most popular and fastest growing online dating services, guaranteeing you excellent chances of meeting interested singles.  And because Yahoo has such immense Internet usage, Yahoo Personals is going to continue to rapidly expand and so will your ability to meet people.  This is definitely one of the web’s best places to find romance.
  • Excellent Pictures.  Yahoo Personals offers excellent photos in their personals.  And with the ability to post and view up to five pictures, you really get to see what someone looks like.
  • Mutual Matching.  Yahoo’s Mutual Matching feature is a great way to easily find a great match.  It highlights people who not only meet your criteria but who are also interested in finding someone like you.  A first Match Meter tells you how well a person matches what you’re seeking, while a second Match Meter tells you how you stack up to what the other person is looking for.
  • Matches by Mail.  This is one of our favorite features.  Yahoo Personals will automatically find you excellent matches and will then send the results to your e-mail.  This means that you can actually meet people without doing any work to find them, and without even having your PC on.  It doesn’t get much easier than this.
  • Voice and Video Greetings.  For those of you who like more high-tech features, Yahoo Personals offers voice and video greetings.  This is a nice way to get a more personal feel of a person than just the ad alone.  The voice greeting is easy to set up and only requires that you have a phone.
  • Alerts.  You’ll be notified when you have new mail waiting for you or when someone is interested in you.


  • In-depth Searches.  You have the option of basic search, advanced search, keyword search, and Matchmaker search.  This is a great way to refine your search and to find what you’re really looking for.

This is simply a great dating service that is incredibly easy to use.  And with so many members, you will have no problem meeting someone.  Click here to meet over 40 singles at Yahoo Personals.

  join Yahoo Personals for free


Send Us Your Feedback and Suggestions  Feedback and Suggestions 

This newsletter is here to serve and benefit you, the reader.  So do not hesitate to tell us how we can improve things.  In addition, you are encouraged to suggest article ideas and to let us know what you think of the newsletter.  Simply email us at the below address:

[email protected]

That’s it for this issue.  Thanks for reading Sex and Dating Tips!


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Dating Tips Newsletter

Free Sex and Dating Tips Newsletter.  Proven dating tips, relationship advice, sex techniques, and more.

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