How to Write a Personal Ad
The Personal Ad Headline
Your online personal is like an
advertisement. And in this advertisement, you are the
product. If your personal ad doesn’t sell a reader, he or she will
breeze by it looking for a better model.
The key to creating a successful personal
ad is your headline. It has to get a person’s attention, it has to
do it in few words, and it has to do it amidst a lot of other headlines.
This is a lot to ask of a description that’s usually less than ten
words. How do you do it? The key is to appeal to the other person’s
Fact is, the person reading your headline doesn’t know you and can care less
about you. They want to know what’s
in it for them. So your personal ad’s headline — in very few words —
has to show this person what’s in it for them. This is what gets the
reader to decide to open your personal ad or to pass it by.
The trick is to play to the wants that are important to your target
reader. In general, women seek honesty, security, sense of humor,
confidence, someone who will make them feel sexy and special, physical
attraction, and someone who will listen (when dealing with women, men can be
pretty bad at this, so pick it up guys). So if you’re looking to appeal to
a woman, example headlines might be:
- Get the love and attention you deserve
A man who will
actually listen to you!
- Secure man (or woman)
with a sense of humor
Appealing to men works the same way: your
headline should appeal to what a male prospect wants to find. Surveys on
attraction typically show that “physical appearance” is more important
to men than women. But men seek other things as well. About one in two men
polled are looking for a serious relationship. This means you have a
50-50 chance whether you mention serious relationship or casual relationship.
In essence, when you design your personal ad’s headline,
think of what the target prospect will want and promote it. And try to
avoid some of the highly-common horrible personal ad headlines, which go like:
- A friend made me do this
Tired of being
Life sucks, look
forward to hearing from ya
Don’t promote negativity, it’s not too
appealing. That statement is common sense, of course, but there are negative headlines like
these all over the personals. And the “friend made me do it”
approach is lousy also. If we’re serious about meeting someone, would
we want to waste our time and energy on a person who doesn’t seem serious about
When the Headline is Less important
If you have to use negativity, try to at least throw in some humor. I saw
a personal ad headline which did this fabulously. It read: If the world didn’t suck,
we’d all fall off. This has to make you laugh. And it has to make
you think that this person has a creative sense of humor. Nonetheless, I
still succeed far more frequently when my personal ad uses a headline that focuses on what the
reader stands to gain.
There will be some dating
services that display search results with your headline and a small version of
your picture. In this case, the headline’s value is a bit less important
because your picture will also play a role in whether or not someone finds you
You can click here to open my
personal ad picture tips. It will open on a separate page and will
help you produce the best picture you can. Even if a search result
displays a picture, you still want to create the best headline you possibly
can. Remember, your personal ad is meaningless if your headline does not
get someone to read it.
Your Actual Personal Ad
got them in the door, your personal ad now has to generate a response. How do you
do this? Once again, it comes back to telling the reader what’s in it for
them. What are your favorable qualities? What does the reader stand
to gain by getting to know you … by meeting you … by dating you?
the reader doesn’t see the benefit of knowing you, why would they waste time
writing you or contacting you?
Let them know what they stand to gain. Don’t be shy.
Don’t under-value yourself. We all have majestic and wonderful
qualities. Let people know about yours. Tell them what they stand to
gain by having an awesome person like you in their life.
I usually make a list of my best
qualities. Then, I prioritize them in order of what I think the reader will likely
find most valuable. Then, I put them in the ad: “I am a great listener
and I look forward to conversing with you and hearing your thoughts … I am
adventurous and open-minded, and seeking someone whose thoughts and actions will
broaden my views … and so on.”
I just told the reader that I will
listen, that communication is important to me, and that I welcome and look forward
to their feedback. I also did so while stating what I’m looking for.
In too many ads, the person is totally caught
up in what they want: “I want someone who is between 5’11” and 6′ tall,
187.2 pounds, and makes AT LEAST $900,000 a year.” Most people read
ads like that and think, Who cares? Of course, that example is overboard,
but a good percentage of ads are like that. Avoid that route. Tell
people what you’re looking for. But also let them know what they stand to
gain. I write my ads this way and I have had immense success.